No Fear, Embrace Failure and Find Freedom

This is probably one of the most important lessons I will give away for free so take notes! In order to be lucky, find freedom and happiness as well as making a lot of money you will need to lose all fear of failure. That is not to say you won’t fail because you probably will experience failure but by brushing it off and moving on you will eventually achieve anything you set your mind to. I was recently asked what about the costs of failure to you and those around you before you find success and this was my response which explains it all in more detail:

The most important things to me are my freedom, my wife and my family and the time I spend with them. That is why I do what I do, I have more time and money to spend with them, I am a happier person to be around and I have more opportunities to give them a fun and interesting life. Notice I don’t mention a home or car or holidays or the children’s school. I am pretty confident now in the financial decision I make but I cannot guarantee that tomorrow I won’t make an awful investment decision and bankrupt myself. I could lose the houses, the ranch, the vineyard, the lot and we all end up back with my parents or my sisters for a while whilst I figure out how to fix it. Some people might think that is callous and wrong but I would say the alternative would have been for me to have spent the last 10 years working at a desk job I hated earning barely enough for the basic semi-detached house, and annual cheap holiday, hardly seeing my wife and kids and giving them very little in money, time, guidance, support or inspiration. A failure now would be just a short blip in an otherwise fun, content, action packed life for me and my family. This is the benefit of having spent some time in a homeless hostel at rock bottom with nobody to turn to for help; I always know it is just a small blip and the next adventure is just round the corner, if I want it.

The mistake a lot of men (and some women) make is they don’t take their family along for the ride. They single mindedly pursue a dream/career/business/hobby/whatever and leave their wife (or husband) and family behind, the family become an afterthought. Then they lose it ALL and look back and think “oh crap, while I was off doing what I wanted to do my wife/husband got pissed off and wants to leave me, my kids don’t even know me and I don’t even remember who my real friends are anymore”. Or alternatively they think “oh crap, while I was off doing what I wanted to do I made no time for a family, the man/woman I loved but never asked to marry me is now married to someone else, my friends are long gone and now I’m seriously lonely and unhappy”. Can you see the difference between this and what I described as my life? What is the cost of failure for me? Nothing, I have all the time I want to spend with my family now and if I lose all the money and material stuff tomorrow I still have all the time in the world tomorrow to spend with them and all the tools I need to rebuild the material stuff again so I’ve lost nothing. My time with my family is what I would not risk losing and losing that would mean subscribing to the kind of life the masses “enjoy”. If I did not embrace change or if I had a fear of risk or failure then I would be failing my family by providing them with years of basic existence, no adventure and no chance of more money. When I was a kid I can’t remember blaming my parents for not having a Rolls Royce or a bigger house or more expensive holidays. However I do remember feeling like my Dad never spent enough time with me and I do remember thinking when he was around he was a bit tired and grumpy because his job got him down. Children don’t often remember the things we think they will but they usually remember when you weren’t there for them of when you were down, stressed, grumpy or upset.

Money, a nice houses, new cars, expensive schools are all fine and nice but they can all be bought or lost in minutes. Nobody can take away the time I spend with my wife and kids, only I can be stupid enough to take that away from myself. My family is also happy to see me happy, being the smiling entrepreneur, writer and investor that I want to be. I can promise you that if you are happy and doing what you love; the money, and other stuff will just follow without any effort at all. The material stuff will go up and down a bit, in my experience we have less control over that than we think. What we do have control over is: are we happy? Are we spending all the time with our family and friends we want to? Are we doing what we love because life is too short not to? These are things we have ALL the control over, the other good stuff like cars, houses, travel etc. just follows on afterwards. I can guarantee if you are not happy and doing what you love, problems are never far behind. Unfortunately for most people this seems like normal life.

Don’t be afraid to risk a bit of money and worthless material possessions to create happiness, fulfillment, freedom and REAL wealth. Real wealth includes the whole package; freedom, family, friends AND money. To do this properly you need to truly understand the meaning of faith. Total and utter faith in what you are doing. Faith in carving out your slice of freedom and happiness without letting anything rock your confidence because you have faith in what you are doing. It takes faith because you will be going against the crowd, you will be rejecting the life of the “employed” masses. You won’t be chasing a basic paycheck, amounts of money or a mortgage. You will be chasing dreams, time, relationships, smiles, laughter, love, friendships, experiences and to do this you will need to keep the faith. This sounds a bit new age even for me but it’s the truth. If you keep the faith in all this then you will be lucky and your first million will follow quicker than you realise.

If you want to know more about how I came from a teenage homeless hostel and changed my life so I could become a successful entrepreneur, plus more of my advice on success, freedom and how to make your own luck, have a look at my book How To Be Lucky.

Whatever you decide to do in your life, be lucky.
Matt Kinsella

4 thoughts on “No Fear, Embrace Failure and Find Freedom

  1. So utterly true Matt and since reading the book the quality time I am spending with loved ones has been so enjoyable and rewarding. It is so easy to get on that treadmill drop your head and just keep going without understanding why or realising any of your dreams.

    • I’m so glad you enjoyed the book Cathy, it means a lot to be able to put something out there that respected business people like yourself appreciate. It’s funny how success starts following you around when you focus on what’s important too isn’t it? Lately a few people have told me stories of how they refocused, spent more time with the family, took a break and changed perspective and suddenly that big deal came in, business picks up and the big outstanding invoices all get paid.

  2. Hi Mat, my name is James and I am 25 studying in university in my final year. I believe that the happiness and the family time are something money can not buy. However, money can increase family quality of life to a certain standard depend on how much you spend. For me, a 25 years old and single, family time is something I do not care as much as my parents, hope you can understand. Therefore, in my opinion, wouldn’t family time be a better time if there are more money can be spent with the family.

    • Hi James, yes I agree completely with you and I think you have totally misunderstood what I wrote here. What I was saying is that a boring, hard and mediocre lifestyle for years and years is waiting for you unless you embrace some risk and don’t fear failure. If you embrace an entrepreneurs lifestyle the rewards are not just financial (even though they can be good), the rewards are endless even if you experience some failure, which you will at some point. My main point was that money is actually easy to come by if you totally embrace change and risk with no fear of failure. And even if you do experience a few failures they will be just minor blips in an otherwise wealthy, fun and very comfortable life rather than years of endless mediocrity.

      I also stated that even for people without a family if you get on the “employed work” treadmill you risk not making time for relationships so even if you don’t have a wife and children to lose you might not even get to that point. Believe me I have seen a lot of it lately with people getting married in their late 30s or 40s to someone that they would not have chosen 10 years ago but because “they will do” and they are scared to be alone and want to have children before it’s too late.

      Please re read what I wrote and see if you can see what I was trying to say, if it isn’t clear let me know so I can re write some of it :-)
      Be Lucky
      Matt

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